Stop Bullies Book
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Wednesday, November 16th, 2011Overt bullies easily get our attention. And we know exactly what we’re up against when they attack. Stealth bullies, who stab you in the back in public with a friendly smile and a laugh designed to disguise their attack as a joke, are much tougher to deal with. In fact, it took a lot of [...]
“Nice Girls” Can’t Stop Bullies
Sunday, November 13th, 2011Almost every one of the women who’ve interviewed me on radio or TV admitted that they were raised to be “nice girls.” Their mothers had taught them that the most important value was to be nice, polite and sweet at all times. They should ignore or rise above bullies; feel sorry for how empty and [...]
Micromanagers just don’t know when to let up
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011Harry defended himself by saying that he was following rules he’d heard in training: to increase teamwork, bring people together often; review production in your group often so you can keep people on track; give immediate feedback in public so everyone can learn from one person’s mistakes. But Harry is a micromanager. Instead of making [...]
The Will to Stop Bullies, Stop Bullying
Sunday, November 6th, 2011Everyone has moments that matter: moments when our life can go in either direction; moments when we can choose the strength to soar to heaven or the weakness to fall into hell. You know, those moments in which everything gets absolutely quiet and the air seems to pulse and throb with the power and weight [...]
Stop Bullies: Make Some People Uncomfortable, Upset, Angry
Sunday, October 30th, 2011Many children are raised with a set of rules such as: “Don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Don’t hurt people’s feelings. Don’t upset anyone. Don’t be disagreeable. Don’t argue. Be polite. Be nice. Follow the Golden Rule. Make everyone like you.” But those are not effective rules for adults in the real-world. Of course, we know why [...]
To Confront Toxic Parents or Not?
Sunday, October 23rd, 2011Should we confront our toxic parents or not? Well, it all depends on us, them and the situation? But here are some guidelines we can use to decide what we want to do. And what’s the “right time, place and way?”
Stop Bullies Who Scold, Chastise
Sunday, October 16th, 2011Most people think that if they made a mistake, broke the rules, weren’t good at something or did something wrong they deserve what they get. So they accept being scolded, chastised and browbeaten. This attitude is so common that we have many words and expressions for these put-downs and abuse. For example, admonished, assailed, assaulted, [...]
Vote Selfish, Narcissistic, Insensitive People off Your Isle of Song
Sunday, October 9th, 2011Sometimes things are very clear and straightforward even though carrying them out may be difficult. But that’s a lot better than not being clear. Rabindranath Tagore, Nobel Prize winning poet, said, “Create an isle of song in a sea of shouts.” This vision provides clarity about the direction we want our lives – situation after [...]
Stop Bullying, Abuse: Say, “That’s Enough!”
Sunday, October 2nd, 2011We’ve talked about the first two important steps to stop bullying, abusive spouses: The first step toward freedom is to use experts’ checklists to recognize and label our spouses’ behavior as “bullying” and our demanding, controlling, narcissistic, abusive spouses as “bullies,” in order to generate our own power. We may use that power to re-enter [...]
Stop Bullying, Abuse: Be Your Own Expert
Sunday, September 25th, 2011When we follow experts’ checklists, and we recognize and label our spouses’ behavior as “bullying” and our demanding, controlling, narcissistic, abusive spouses as “bullies,” we generate our own power. We may use that power to re-enter the fight with renewed vigor and a new sense that we’re right. But many bullies, especially demanding, controlling, narcissistic, [...]
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