Public Speaking
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Monday, November 29th, 2010In his article in the New York Times, Erik Eckholm, points out that, “Alarmed by evidence that gay and lesbian students are common victims of schoolyard bullies, many school districts are bolstering their antiharassment rules with early lessons in tolerance.” The article continues, “Rick DeMato, pastor of Liberty Baptist Church, [who] opposes the curriculum changes [...]
Stop Your Teenage Bully
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010Parents who bully children, and parents who bully and abuse each other are all too common, but an often unrecognized bullying situation is teenagers who bully their parents, especially their single parents. Of course, teenage girls can be manipulative bullies, but for a typical example, let’s focus on a 19 year-old boy who is mentally [...]
Who Should Stop School Bullies on the Bus?
Tuesday, October 12th, 2010James Jones, the Florida father who boarded a school bus to protect his 13 year-old daughter from school bullies, has been raked through the media for his over-reaction. He’s apologized profusely that he threatened the bullies and the bus driver who hadn’t stopped the bullying. The episode was captured by the bus surveillance camera. No [...]
Stop Abusive, Bullying Teachers
Tuesday, September 28th, 2010Which professions, in their teaching schools and in their on-the-job practices, foster or tolerate the worst and most flagrant forms of bullying? I don’t know, but teaching is right up there with doctors and lawyers and others I may be overlooking. I see two kinds of principals running two very different kinds of public schools.
Stop Self-Bullying by Blame, Shame and Guilt
Wednesday, September 1st, 2010If used well, blame and guilt don’t lead to self-bullying. They’re useful ways of motivating us to do better, even though they can cause a lot of wear and tear on our bodies, minds and hearts. If we analyze our actions objectively we might take on the blame for some of what we did or [...]
Can You Rescue Your Grandchildren from Your Toxic Child?
Monday, August 16th, 2010Let’s analyze a worst-case scenario for loving, caring parents. You were pretty good parents but one of your children has turned out toxic – not a psychopath but someone who acts like she (or he) hates you. It’s not your fault, but she blames you for not giving her everything she wanted or wants now, [...]
Stop Self-Bullying: A Toxic Child Might Not Be Your Fault
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010Self-bullies wallow in perfectionism, self-doubt, self-questioning, blame, shame, guilt and negative self-talk. Real self-bullies run themselves down and beat themselves up in almost every area of life. But even people who don’t use self-bullying tactics normally will condemn themselves if one of their children turns out incompetent or toxic. A hundred fifty years ago, the [...]
Guilt: Bad, Good; Unhealthy, Healthy; Useless, Effective
Monday, August 2nd, 2010When is guilt bad; when is guilt good? When is it a normal, healthy emotion and when is it harmful? Most people try to answer these questions the wrong way. And they forgot to consider how bullies try to use our guilt to harass and abuse us. Most people analyze whether the guilt we feel [...]
Stop School Bullies: Use Laws, People, Programs
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010In their article in the New York Times, “There’s Only One Way to Stop a Bully,” Susan Engel and Marlene Sandstrom focus on the educational aspects of programs designed to stop school bullying. Let’s look at the whole picture and especially at the piece that’s usually missing from ineffective school programs:
Stop Emotional Bullies: Drama Queens
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010Some bullies use their strong emotions to become the center of attention, take control and coerce or manipulate other people to give in and do what the emotional bully wants. Children throwing fits are practicing and learning if that tactic works. Adult masters of emotional bullying are effective with spouses, partners, friends, extended families and [...]
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