Relationships
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Monday, December 13th, 2010In their New York Times column, “From Dangerous Home to Safe House,” Amelia Duchon-Voyles, with Liz Welch, describes how Amilia helped a woman and child escape from a bullying and domestic violence situation. They also described the mother’s progress toward standing up to her batterer and to establishing a steady life for her and her [...]
Stop Sneaky Bullies’ Traps, Hidden Agendas
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010One of the favorite tactics of sneaky, stealth bullies is to set traps for you. When you fall into their snare, they’re gleefully smug, “Gotcha! See, I told you!” Their hidden agenda is to prove you’re wrong, dumb and bad and they’re right, smart and good. They’re not interested in truth or equal relationships; they’re [...]
Stop Bullying at Extended Family Holidays
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010Many types of family bullying are obvious, whether it’s physical or verbal harassment, nastiness or abuse, and targets or witnesses usually jump in to stop it. The typical perpetrators are mothers and fathers bullying each other or the kids, sibling bullies, bullying step-parents or kids sneakily bullying a step-parent in order to drive a wedge [...]
Can You Rescue Your Grandchildren from Your Toxic Child?
Monday, August 16th, 2010Let’s analyze a worst-case scenario for loving, caring parents. You were pretty good parents but one of your children has turned out toxic – not a psychopath but someone who acts like she (or he) hates you. It’s not your fault, but she blames you for not giving her everything she wanted or wants now, [...]
Stop Self-Bullying: A Toxic Child Might Not Be Your Fault
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010Self-bullies wallow in perfectionism, self-doubt, self-questioning, blame, shame, guilt and negative self-talk. Real self-bullies run themselves down and beat themselves up in almost every area of life. But even people who don’t use self-bullying tactics normally will condemn themselves if one of their children turns out incompetent or toxic. A hundred fifty years ago, the [...]
Guilt: Bad, Good; Unhealthy, Healthy; Useless, Effective
Monday, August 2nd, 2010When is guilt bad; when is guilt good? When is it a normal, healthy emotion and when is it harmful? Most people try to answer these questions the wrong way. And they forgot to consider how bullies try to use our guilt to harass and abuse us. Most people analyze whether the guilt we feel [...]
Stop Bullying by Toxic, Adult Children
Thursday, July 1st, 2010Stopping bullying by toxic parents and grandparents is only one side of the coin. The other side is to stop bullying of parents by adult children who are toxic users and abusers. I’ll focus on the adult children who: Make poor decisions and try bully their parents to bail them out time after time. Still [...]
Stop Bullying Queen Bees in Your Neighborhood
Tuesday, June 1st, 2010In summer the “Queen Bees” come out in force. Every neighborhood has at least one. For example, Jill was jealous of Mary. All the other women in the neighborhood liked Mary. Her home was always open; she always had treats; her kids are fun and shared their toys and games. The nicer Mary was, the [...]
Stop Emotional Bullies: Drama Queens
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010Some bullies use their strong emotions to become the center of attention, take control and coerce or manipulate other people to give in and do what the emotional bully wants. Children throwing fits are practicing and learning if that tactic works. Adult masters of emotional bullying are effective with spouses, partners, friends, extended families and [...]
Stop Bullies: Mothers Get Put-Downs, No Respect
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010Verbal harassment, bullying and abuse; put-downs, lack of respect and cutting out can destroy confidence and self-esteem. Disparaging and demeaning remarks; ostracism, backed by righteous, sneering, superior judgments can be devastating to children. But they’re no less severe when done by adults to adults. A Mother’s Day article in the Wall Street Journal by Amy [...]
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