Relationships
« Previous EntriesNext Entries »Stop Bullies: Dump the Jerk Day
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011Today is officially, “Dump the Jerk Day.” Seriously. Clear out the debris and deadwood. Make space for someone who treats you good so you can have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Worse than being alone is feeling alone when someone else is taking up all the space and breathing all the air. Then you’re not only [...]
Bullying Spouses won’t be Convinced to Change
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011You can’t convince bullying spouses to change; you’ll never prove that you’re right or should have what you need; you’ll never deserve the rewards they withhold from you. They’re not interested in the truth or in your reasons or your wonderful logic. They’re not interested in loving you the way you want to be loved. [...]
Are You Defeated by Defeat?
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011What do you do after you’ve been hit hard and knocked down by life? What do you do after your dreams have been shattered? What do you do after you’ve been rejected or lost everything? What do you do when you’ve been defeated? What do you do when you realize you chose an abusive bully [...]
“The Last Samurai:” Follow Your Destiny
Thursday, January 27th, 2011In the first scene of “The Last Samurai,” starring Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe, the Samurai has a dream in which he sees the tiger coming for him. He doesn’t know what it means, but he knows that it is important. Later, in the first battle, where the Samurai army overwhelms the poorly trained Imperial [...]
Stop Domestic Violence and Bullying
Monday, December 13th, 2010In their New York Times column, “From Dangerous Home to Safe House,” Amelia Duchon-Voyles, with Liz Welch, describes how Amilia helped a woman and child escape from a bullying and domestic violence situation. They also described the mother’s progress toward standing up to her batterer and to establishing a steady life for her and her [...]
Stop Sneaky Bullies’ Traps, Hidden Agendas
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010One of the favorite tactics of sneaky, stealth bullies is to set traps for you. When you fall into their snare, they’re gleefully smug, “Gotcha! See, I told you!” Their hidden agenda is to prove you’re wrong, dumb and bad and they’re right, smart and good. They’re not interested in truth or equal relationships; they’re [...]
Stop Bullying at Extended Family Holidays
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010Many types of family bullying are obvious, whether it’s physical or verbal harassment, nastiness or abuse, and targets or witnesses usually jump in to stop it. The typical perpetrators are mothers and fathers bullying each other or the kids, sibling bullies, bullying step-parents or kids sneakily bullying a step-parent in order to drive a wedge [...]
Can You Rescue Your Grandchildren from Your Toxic Child?
Monday, August 16th, 2010Let’s analyze a worst-case scenario for loving, caring parents. You were pretty good parents but one of your children has turned out toxic – not a psychopath but someone who acts like she (or he) hates you. It’s not your fault, but she blames you for not giving her everything she wanted or wants now, [...]
Stop Self-Bullying: A Toxic Child Might Not Be Your Fault
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010Self-bullies wallow in perfectionism, self-doubt, self-questioning, blame, shame, guilt and negative self-talk. Real self-bullies run themselves down and beat themselves up in almost every area of life. But even people who don’t use self-bullying tactics normally will condemn themselves if one of their children turns out incompetent or toxic. A hundred fifty years ago, the [...]
Guilt: Bad, Good; Unhealthy, Healthy; Useless, Effective
Monday, August 2nd, 2010When is guilt bad; when is guilt good? When is it a normal, healthy emotion and when is it harmful? Most people try to answer these questions the wrong way. And they forgot to consider how bullies try to use our guilt to harass and abuse us. Most people analyze whether the guilt we feel [...]
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