Relationships
« Previous EntriesNext Entries »How to Know if You’re Bullied and Abused
Sunday, June 26th, 2011Many coaching clients call me saying, “Since he didn’t beat me physically, I didn’t realize I was being bullied and abused. At least, not until I read your articles. Is it too late for me? Can you help me?” Of course, since you’ve made it this far, it’s not too late, although it may take [...]
Begging Doesn’t Stop Domestic Bullying and Abuse
Sunday, June 5th, 2011We don’t need more research and statistics to know that domestic violence is a travesty and must be stopped. For example, watch the graphic five minute video about the effects of that brutality and the work of one safe house helping women and children. Domestic violence is obvious – you can see the results of [...]
Maturation: Overcome Fear of Bullying Parents
Sunday, May 22nd, 2011Many people still feel like children when their parents boss, belittle, criticize, demean, blame, shame, bully, abuse and guilt-trip them. The now-adult children still feel afraid, just like they did years ago. Angry, hostile, harassing, taunting parents still elicit the most primitive responses from their adult children – fight, flight or freeze. How can these [...]
Stop Sneaky, Manipulative Bullies
Sunday, May 15th, 2011A typical tactic of sneaky, manipulative bullies is to convince their well-meaning targets to try to make the bullies happy. Although covert bullies and control-freaks aren’t usually so clear, straightforward and blunt about it, what they say is, “You’ve made me unhappy. It’s your fault that I’m upset, angry, violent and abusive. If you only [...]
Stop Bullying: Are Bullies Evil?
Monday, March 14th, 2011Do we have to decide that a bully is bad, evil and unredeemable in order to stop them or get them out of our lives? Do we have to be judgmental in order to act – to kick someone out of school, to divorce someone, to sever a relationship, to put someone in prison? Many [...]
Stop Toxic Parents Despite Being Disinherited
Monday, March 7th, 2011Sometimes toxic parents think they have us over a barrel even after we’ve grown up, gotten physically and financially independent, and started our own family. They count on our loyalty to some ideal of “family” no matter how badly they treated and still treat us. They count on our self-bullying and guilt. They count on [...]
Stop Bullies: Ignore Their Excuses, Justifications
Monday, February 28th, 2011Jane’s sister, Betty, seemed to have been born with a vicious tongue. She attacked everyone relentlessly. Holidays with the extended family were a misery for Jane and her family. Nobody, not even their mother, stopped Betty. Everyone was afraid to complain directly to Betty. If they did, Betty would turn on them even more spitefully [...]
Stop Bullies: Forgiveness Won’t Work
Monday, February 21st, 2011My personal and professional experience is that forgiveness doesn’t stop real-world bullies. Most people think forgiveness consists of two things: Some surge of feelings that makes us more kindly disposed toward a person who has injured us, whether intentionally or not. Words in dictionaries include: A thawing or understanding, caring, sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, pardoning, [...]
Stop Bullies: Unconditional Love Won’t Work
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011I learned by personal and professional experience that unconditional love doesn’t stop real-world bullies. But others learned the same lesson over 2,500 years ago. Of course, we all have those bad days when everything seems to go wrong and we’re so grumpy that we take it out on the dog or anyone we meet. But [...]
Stop Bullies: Start Here
Thursday, February 10th, 2011You may be the target of a bully, but you don’t have to be a victim. Bullies can go after you in many ways; physically harming you or threatening to hurt you; inflicting emotional pain through harassment, relentless criticism, taunting, put-downs, cutting out, manipulation, controlling, back-stabbing, spreading rumors, telling secrets, embarrassing you or generally mean [...]
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