Relationships

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To Stop Bullies: Don’t Give in to Fear, Despair, Defeat

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

Stopping bullies, whether overt, covert or cyberbullying, and especially stopping self-bullying, requires time, effort, courage, determination and perseverance – grit. It’s easy to lose heart along the way, but we must not give into fear, discouragement, despair, defeat, loss of hope or depression.  We must not listen to negative self-talk, or give in to the [...]

Do Private Apologies Mean Bullying Will Stop?

Sunday, January 15th, 2012

Sometimes, bullies come to us and apologize in private for their behavior and promise that they won’t do it again.  Does that mean that the harassment, abuse and bullying will stop?

Stop Angry Obsessing; Start Acting Effectively

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

Cindy was up again at 2 AM, infuriated at her mother and her older sister.  They were so mean and cruel.  What they’d said and done hurt so much.  It was like she was a child again, subjected to their verbal beatings.  The more she thought of what they had done, the angrier she became.  [...]

Stop Bullies Who Know-It-All about Cancer

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Our beloved four-year-old granddaughter has cancer. She finished surgery and is in radiation-chemotherapy mode.  They say there’s a good chance she’ll live long and prosper.  We grasp that life preserver and try not to cry all the time while we go about fulfilling other responsibilities. Thank you for that gasp and intake of breath. All [...]

Can Fear and Anger Help Stop Bullies?

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Some people think that fear and anger are always bad.  Some people think that fear and anger can’t help stop bullies. I disagree.

To Stop Bullies You Must Protest and Say, “NO!”

Monday, December 12th, 2011

One of the typical tactics of sly, sneaky, stealthy, manipulative bullies is to work in the dark; to not be seen to be bullies.  Then, when a light is shined on their abusive behavior, they claim that they were just having fun; that they were just kidding around; that they didn’t know their target was [...]

Can You Resolve Feelings With a Bullying Father Before He Dies?

Sunday, December 4th, 2011

Joan’s father had bullied and abused her all her life.  He’d yelled, scolded, chastised, taunted and emotionally terrorized her.  He’d been manipulative, sneaky and lying.  He never admitted anything was his fault.  He’d always blamed on her; everything was her fault.  He still treats her the same way.  He’s a narcissistic, control freak. Joan could [...]

Should You Stop Bullies if You Feel Vindictive, Resentful?

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

Amy was raised to be a nice girl.  She had learned not to act if she felt angry or if she sensed any resentful or vindictive feelings within her.  When she held back because her motives weren’t pure enough, she became easy prey for her bullying brother.

“Nice Girls” Can’t Stop Bullies

Sunday, November 13th, 2011

Almost every one of the women who’ve interviewed me on radio or TV admitted that they were raised to be “nice girls.”  Their mothers had taught them that the most important value was to be nice, polite and sweet at all times.  They should ignore or rise above bullies; feel sorry for how empty and [...]

Stop Bullies: Make Some People Uncomfortable, Upset, Angry

Sunday, October 30th, 2011

Many children are raised with a set of rules such as: “Don’t make anyone uncomfortable.  Don’t hurt people’s feelings.  Don’t upset anyone.  Don’t be disagreeable.  Don’t argue.  Be polite.  Be nice.  Follow the Golden Rule.  Make everyone like you.”  But those are not effective rules for adults in the real-world. Of course, we know why [...]

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