Relationships
« Previous EntriesDon’t let Toxic Step-Fathers and Colluding Mothers Keep Abusing You
Thursday, March 4th, 2010Toxic step-fathers and step-mothers are clichés because they’re all too common. But the ubiquity of harassment, bullying and verbal, sexual and physical abuse doesn’t diminish the pain and long-term damage inflicted on defenseless kids.
Of course, kids can also treat their step-parents cruelly, and step-mothers and biological parents can also be relentlessly cruel, but let’s focus […]
Stop Bullies: Recognize Governor Sanford’s Abusive Behavior
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010In her New York Times book review, “Facing Scandal, Keeping Faith,” Janet Maslin describes Jenny Sanford’s new book, “Staying True.”
Jenny, wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, notes many typical warning signs of stealthy, manipulative, controlling bullies when she describes her husband’s behavior in their early marriage arrangements, and during the public unraveling of his […]
Stop Toxic Parents and Grandparents: Shine a Light
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010Should you tell your children about your toxic parents, their toxic grandparents? What should you tell them and how?
Imagine that your parents no longer abuse you physically or sexually, but they still demean you, scapegoat you, ignore or scorn you, make nasty, hostile, sarcastic remarks and put-downs, and let you know that you’re not good […]
Can Grandparents Stop Controlling Sons-in-Law?
Thursday, February 11th, 2010This is about the opposite side of the coin from the toxic parents and grandparents that many people have experienced.
One of the saddest cries for help I hear is from nice, kindly, well-meaning grandparents whose daughters have given in to their controlling husbands. Their daughters don’t come to visit and don’t bring the grandchildren, they […]
Stop Boyfriend Bullies before Valentine’s Day
Monday, January 11th, 2010Imagine that you have a new boyfriend who seems wonderful and you’re looking forward to a romantic Valentine’s Day. But in your past relationships you were harassed, bullied, controlled and abused. You finally realize you have a tendency to pick the wrong guys. What should you look for with this new one and what should […]
Stop Family Bullying Over a Favorite Child
Monday, December 28th, 2009The holidays may be over for a while but family harassment, bullying and abuse because of a favorite child still needs to be stopped. Typical situations are where the parents:
Praise, defend and give the best presents or position in the Will to their favorite child.
Put down the rest of the children or designate one as […]
Stop Bullying Boyfriends, Domineering Dates and Controlling Girlfriends
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009The holidays are a perfect time to recognize and respond effectively to the early warning signs of bullying boyfriends, controlling girlfriends and domineering dates. Whether these control-freaks are stimulated by holiday pressures and stresses, or they simply seize the opportunity to take charge of multiple events, their subversive, controlling tactics become more apparent during the […]
What You Owe Toxic Parents
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009A lot of feedback about stopping bullying by toxic parents focused on what children owe those abusive parents. After all, even though they harassed, abused and tormented their children, those parents still fed, clothed and housed them.
Many of those parents now claim that a debt is owed them. No matter how bad they were and […]
Stop Bullies: Especially Toxic Parents
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009Toxic parents can make your life miserable, especially if you’re still trying to win their approval or if you think you must see them during the holidays.
Most people can call it quits with bullying lovers, end false friendships and divorce abusive spouses. But stopping bullying by toxic parents seems more difficult. And it’s even harder […]
Appeasement Won’t Stop Real-World Bullies
Friday, August 14th, 2009Some people believe fervently, passionately and whole-heartedly that if you love bullies, if you give them what they want, if you’re kind enough, then you’ll melt their hearts, they’ll come to their senses and they’ll stop bullying. Sometimes, rarely, that does work.
But the wisdom of both history and the world’s great literature tells you that […]