parenting

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Stopping School Bullies Requires More than Laws, Policies

Monday, March 8th, 2010

State laws and school policies are necessary, but they’re not enough to stop school bullies.  The third necessary ingredient is the responsible people who are paid to make schools safe.  If teachers, psychologists and counselors, assistant principals, principals, district administrators and school board members don’t create effective school programs and don’t enforce the laws and […]

Don’t let Toxic Step-Fathers and Colluding Mothers Keep Abusing You

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Toxic step-fathers and step-mothers are clichés because they’re all too common.  But the ubiquity of harassment, bullying and verbal, sexual and physical abuse doesn’t diminish the pain and long-term damage inflicted on defenseless kids.
Of course, kids can also treat their step-parents cruelly, and step-mothers and biological parents can also be relentlessly cruel, but let’s focus […]

Stop Toxic Parents and Grandparents: Shine a Light

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Should you tell your children about your toxic parents, their toxic grandparents?  What should you tell them and how?
Imagine that your parents no longer abuse you physically or sexually, but they still demean you, scapegoat you, ignore or scorn you, make nasty, hostile, sarcastic remarks and put-downs, and let you know that you’re not good […]

Moments of Choice from Captain Chesley Sullenberger’s Childhood

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

My last post focused on children, teenagers and adults facing moments of choice when they’re targets of or bystanders-witnesses to harassment, bullying and abuse.  People who repeatedly turn away from that call to step up usually develop terrible long-term consequences including increased stress, insecurity, discouragement and depression; increased blame, shame, guilt and negative self-talk; and […]

Stop Bullying: Bystanders/Witnesses’ Moments of Choice

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

There are moments of choice in all our lives when we are called upon to stand up for our best dreams and aspirations.  Sometimes we recognize and seize these opportunities, sometimes we ignore these moments and sometimes we don’t ever hear their call to our spirits.  Each of these moments and our responses create long-lasting […]

Sexting Suicide: Vicious Boys, Mean Girls and Self-Bullying

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Andrew Meacham in the Tampa Bay Times article, “Sexting-related bullying cited in Hillsborough teen’s suicide,” reports on the suicide of Hope Witsell.  Witsell’s death follows the sexting-triggered suicide of Jessica Logan who was taunted, harassed, bullied and abused for similar reasons.
Of course, ultimately the choice was Hope Witsell’s, but the principals and district administrators at […]

Twilight: New Moon Star, Taylor Lautner, Stopped School Bullies

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

Rolling Stone reports how “Twilight: New Moon” star Taylor Lautner stopped school bullies.  Taylor told Rolling Stone, “I was never extremely confident.  Because I was an actor, when I was in school there was a little bullying going on.  Not physical bullying but people making fun of what I do.  But Taylor says the bullies […]

Stop a 4-Year Old Bully

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

A New York Times blog post by Lisa Belkin, “A Bully at Age 4?” raises the question, “How young is too young to be a bully?”
A comment from a parent described a big 4-year old child hitting other 4-year old kids at school, not allowing other kids to play if he didn’t feel like it, […]

End frustration: Stop shouting, spanking and bullying your kids

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

An article by Hillary Stout in the New York Times, “For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking,” focuses on the damage to children done by parents’ shouting and, therefore, the need for parents to control their tempers.
Although I agree that a steady diet of shouting and bullying isn’t a good way for well-meaning, devoted […]

Effective Laws can Stop Cyber Bullying, Harassment and Abuse

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Missouri has responded effectively to cyber bullying via web sites and text messaging; has your state?
After the Lori Drew case in Missouri, in which a MySpace account was used to bully 13-year old Megan Meier, who committed suicide, Missouri legislators passed laws criminalizing cyber-bullying, harassment and abuse, and schools created zero-tolerance policies.  School authorities and […]

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