Bullies at Home
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Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011You can’t convince bullying spouses to change; you’ll never prove that you’re right or should have what you need; you’ll never deserve the rewards they withhold from you. They’re not interested in the truth or in your reasons or your wonderful logic. They’re not interested in loving you the way you want to be loved. [...]
Are You Defeated by Defeat?
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011What do you do after you’ve been hit hard and knocked down by life? What do you do after your dreams have been shattered? What do you do after you’ve been rejected or lost everything? What do you do when you’ve been defeated? What do you do when you realize you chose an abusive bully [...]
Amy Chua, “The Chinese Mother,” is a Bully
Wednesday, January 19th, 2011Amy Chua’s article in the Wall Street Journal, “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” has gotten enough publicity to make her book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” a best seller. She’s clear that she uses the term “Chinese Mother” to represent a certain way of treating children that may be found in people from many, [...]
Are “Chinese Mothers” Superior or are They Bullies?
Monday, January 10th, 2011There’s a wonderful and stimulating article in the Wall Street Journal by Amy Chua, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior.” It’s sub-titled, “Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?” The sub-title’s focus on creating happy kids just [...]
Stop Bullying by Your Kid’s Temper Tantrums
Monday, December 20th, 2010‘Tis the holiday season and kids’ expectations are high. They want what they want and they want it now! We may want to draw new lines, cutting back because of the economy or because we’re just tired of their whining and complaining or because we think they’re on the path to become spoiled brats. But [...]
Stop Domestic Violence and Bullying
Monday, December 13th, 2010In their New York Times column, “From Dangerous Home to Safe House,” Amelia Duchon-Voyles, with Liz Welch, describes how Amilia helped a woman and child escape from a bullying and domestic violence situation. They also described the mother’s progress toward standing up to her batterer and to establishing a steady life for her and her [...]
Stop Sneaky Bullies’ Traps, Hidden Agendas
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010One of the favorite tactics of sneaky, stealth bullies is to set traps for you. When you fall into their snare, they’re gleefully smug, “Gotcha! See, I told you!” Their hidden agenda is to prove you’re wrong, dumb and bad and they’re right, smart and good. They’re not interested in truth or equal relationships; they’re [...]
Stop Your Teenage Bully
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010Parents who bully children, and parents who bully and abuse each other are all too common, but an often unrecognized bullying situation is teenagers who bully their parents, especially their single parents. Of course, teenage girls can be manipulative bullies, but for a typical example, let’s focus on a 19 year-old boy who is mentally [...]
Stop Bullying at Extended Family Holidays
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010Many types of family bullying are obvious, whether it’s physical or verbal harassment, nastiness or abuse, and targets or witnesses usually jump in to stop it. The typical perpetrators are mothers and fathers bullying each other or the kids, sibling bullies, bullying step-parents or kids sneakily bullying a step-parent in order to drive a wedge [...]
Don’t be a Bystander-Spectator; be an Active Witness
Monday, September 6th, 2010There’s a world of difference between being an active witness to bullying and abuse, and being merely a bystander. A bystander has already decided to be an uninvolved spectator, to look the other way, to pretend ignorance if called upon. A witness can make a tactical decision based on the circumstances – intervene now in [...]
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