Bullies at Home
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Sunday, July 3rd, 2011Many bullies succeed in getting what they want by being angry. Even if they don’t hit physically, they beat their targets verbally, mentally and emotionally. And the threat of physical violence makes other people give in. These bullies have enough control that they haven’t been arrested and sent to prison. That’s why I think of [...]
How to Know if You’re Bullied and Abused
Sunday, June 26th, 2011Many coaching clients call me saying, “Since he didn’t beat me physically, I didn’t realize I was being bullied and abused. At least, not until I read your articles. Is it too late for me? Can you help me?” Of course, since you’ve made it this far, it’s not too late, although it may take [...]
How to Destroy Confidence, Self-Esteem; Create Doubt, Insecurity
Sunday, June 12th, 2011The best ways to destroy a child’s confidence and self-esteem, and to create an adult riddled with self-doubt, insecurity and negative self-talk are: Relentless beatings. These instill fear and terror. Children can become convinced they’re always wrong and the price for mistakes is high; maybe even maiming or death. The result can be adults who’re [...]
Begging Doesn’t Stop Domestic Bullying and Abuse
Sunday, June 5th, 2011We don’t need more research and statistics to know that domestic violence is a travesty and must be stopped. For example, watch the graphic five minute video about the effects of that brutality and the work of one safe house helping women and children. Domestic violence is obvious – you can see the results of [...]
Maturation: Overcome Fear of Bullying Parents
Sunday, May 22nd, 2011Many people still feel like children when their parents boss, belittle, criticize, demean, blame, shame, bully, abuse and guilt-trip them. The now-adult children still feel afraid, just like they did years ago. Angry, hostile, harassing, taunting parents still elicit the most primitive responses from their adult children – fight, flight or freeze. How can these [...]
Stop Sneaky, Manipulative Bullies
Sunday, May 15th, 2011A typical tactic of sneaky, manipulative bullies is to convince their well-meaning targets to try to make the bullies happy. Although covert bullies and control-freaks aren’t usually so clear, straightforward and blunt about it, what they say is, “You’ve made me unhappy. It’s your fault that I’m upset, angry, violent and abusive. If you only [...]
Stop Toxic Parents Despite Being Disinherited
Monday, March 7th, 2011Sometimes toxic parents think they have us over a barrel even after we’ve grown up, gotten physically and financially independent, and started our own family. They count on our loyalty to some ideal of “family” no matter how badly they treated and still treat us. They count on our self-bullying and guilt. They count on [...]
Stop Bullies: Ignore Their Excuses, Justifications
Monday, February 28th, 2011Jane’s sister, Betty, seemed to have been born with a vicious tongue. She attacked everyone relentlessly. Holidays with the extended family were a misery for Jane and her family. Nobody, not even their mother, stopped Betty. Everyone was afraid to complain directly to Betty. If they did, Betty would turn on them even more spitefully [...]
Stop Bullies: Forgiveness Won’t Work
Monday, February 21st, 2011My personal and professional experience is that forgiveness doesn’t stop real-world bullies. Most people think forgiveness consists of two things: Some surge of feelings that makes us more kindly disposed toward a person who has injured us, whether intentionally or not. Words in dictionaries include: A thawing or understanding, caring, sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, pardoning, [...]
Stop Bullies: Dump the Jerk Day
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011Today is officially, “Dump the Jerk Day.” Seriously. Clear out the debris and deadwood. Make space for someone who treats you good so you can have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Worse than being alone is feeling alone when someone else is taking up all the space and breathing all the air. Then you’re not only [...]
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