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Sunday, October 23rd, 2011Should we confront our toxic parents or not? Well, it all depends on us, them and the situation? But here are some guidelines we can use to decide what we want to do. And what’s the “right time, place and way?”
Stop Bullies Who Scold, Chastise
Sunday, October 16th, 2011Most people think that if they made a mistake, broke the rules, weren’t good at something or did something wrong they deserve what they get. So they accept being scolded, chastised and browbeaten. This attitude is so common that we have many words and expressions for these put-downs and abuse. For example, admonished, assailed, assaulted, [...]
Vote Selfish, Narcissistic, Insensitive People off Your Isle of Song
Sunday, October 9th, 2011Sometimes things are very clear and straightforward even though carrying them out may be difficult. But that’s a lot better than not being clear. Rabindranath Tagore, Nobel Prize winning poet, said, “Create an isle of song in a sea of shouts.” This vision provides clarity about the direction we want our lives – situation after [...]
Stop Bullying, Abuse: Say, “That’s Enough!”
Sunday, October 2nd, 2011We’ve talked about the first two important steps to stop bullying, abusive spouses: The first step toward freedom is to use experts’ checklists to recognize and label our spouses’ behavior as “bullying” and our demanding, controlling, narcissistic, abusive spouses as “bullies,” in order to generate our own power. We may use that power to re-enter [...]
Stop Bullying, Abuse: Be Your Own Expert
Sunday, September 25th, 2011When we follow experts’ checklists, and we recognize and label our spouses’ behavior as “bullying” and our demanding, controlling, narcissistic, abusive spouses as “bullies,” we generate our own power. We may use that power to re-enter the fight with renewed vigor and a new sense that we’re right. But many bullies, especially demanding, controlling, narcissistic, [...]
Take Power: Recognize and Label Bullying Spouses
Sunday, September 18th, 2011People often wonder if they’re being bullied, controlled or abused by their spouses. They want experts to help them recognize the signs and give them an educated, experienced opinion so they’ll have a new weapon in the next round of the endless battle. That’s a useful tactic but the major benefits are not what most [...]
To Increase Confidence and Self-Esteem: Test the World, Not Yourself
Sunday, September 4th, 2011We grow up testing ourselves; “Are we good enough? If not it’s our fault. Did we succeed; we still could have done more. Did we fail; it’s our fault.” Testing ourselves is a motivation strategy, “Figure out what’s wrong with us and improve it.” And behind it is the hidden message, “We’re defective and we’d [...]
Stop Bullies: Support Good Behavior, not Bad Blood
Sunday, August 28th, 2011Many people wrote and called for coaching after last week’s post, “Stop Bullies Who Demand their Way.” Although their circumstances varied, their fundamental hesitation was the same: “How can I defend the behavioral standards I want if that means angry confrontations with my blood relationships?”
Stop Bullies Who Demand their Way
Sunday, August 21st, 2011I was at a wedding and a funeral last week. Really; not a movie. And the people were fine. But I was reminded of all the times I’ve been at big family events when some selfish, narcissistic, abusive, controlling, bullying family member demanded that they get their way or they’d make a scene, make everyone [...]
Being Judgmental: Do You Need More or Less? – Quick Quiz
Monday, July 11th, 2011Being judgmental has gotten a bad name and for good reasons. Our whole world has experienced the horror wrought by people who felt superior and righteous in destroying other people they thought were inferior or even non-human. Also, in our personal lives, we’ve experienced the damage done by arrogant, righteous spouses, parents, relatives and others [...]
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