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Monday, March 8th, 2010State laws and school policies are necessary, but they’re not enough to stop school bullies. The third necessary ingredient is the responsible people who are paid to make schools safe. If teachers, psychologists and counselors, assistant principals, principals, district administrators and school board members don’t create effective school programs and don’t enforce the laws and […]
Don’t let Toxic Step-Fathers and Colluding Mothers Keep Abusing You
Thursday, March 4th, 2010Toxic step-fathers and step-mothers are clichés because they’re all too common. But the ubiquity of harassment, bullying and verbal, sexual and physical abuse doesn’t diminish the pain and long-term damage inflicted on defenseless kids.
Of course, kids can also treat their step-parents cruelly, and step-mothers and biological parents can also be relentlessly cruel, but let’s focus […]
Stop Bullies: Recognize Governor Sanford’s Abusive Behavior
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010In her New York Times book review, “Facing Scandal, Keeping Faith,” Janet Maslin describes Jenny Sanford’s new book, “Staying True.”
Jenny, wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, notes many typical warning signs of stealthy, manipulative, controlling bullies when she describes her husband’s behavior in their early marriage arrangements, and during the public unraveling of his […]
Stop Toxic Parents and Grandparents: Shine a Light
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010Should you tell your children about your toxic parents, their toxic grandparents? What should you tell them and how?
Imagine that your parents no longer abuse you physically or sexually, but they still demean you, scapegoat you, ignore or scorn you, make nasty, hostile, sarcastic remarks and put-downs, and let you know that you’re not good […]
Can Grandparents Stop Controlling Sons-in-Law?
Thursday, February 11th, 2010This is about the opposite side of the coin from the toxic parents and grandparents that many people have experienced.
One of the saddest cries for help I hear is from nice, kindly, well-meaning grandparents whose daughters have given in to their controlling husbands. Their daughters don’t come to visit and don’t bring the grandchildren, they […]
Stop Toxic Coworkers and Other Bullies
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010There are toxic people in every environment – toxic family, toxic friends, toxic lovers and toxic coworkers. If you don’t recognize and respond effectively to toxic, bullying coworkers they can make your life miserable, harass you, turn the rest of your team against you, scapegoat you and even get you fired.
For example,
Moments of Choice from Captain Chesley Sullenberger’s Childhood
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010My last post focused on children, teenagers and adults facing moments of choice when they’re targets of or bystanders-witnesses to harassment, bullying and abuse. People who repeatedly turn away from that call to step up usually develop terrible long-term consequences including increased stress, insecurity, discouragement and depression; increased blame, shame, guilt and negative self-talk; and […]
Stop Bullying: Bystanders/Witnesses’ Moments of Choice
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010There are moments of choice in all our lives when we are called upon to stand up for our best dreams and aspirations. Sometimes we recognize and seize these opportunities, sometimes we ignore these moments and sometimes we don’t ever hear their call to our spirits. Each of these moments and our responses create long-lasting […]
Stop Boyfriend Bullies before Valentine’s Day
Monday, January 11th, 2010Imagine that you have a new boyfriend who seems wonderful and you’re looking forward to a romantic Valentine’s Day. But in your past relationships you were harassed, bullied, controlled and abused. You finally realize you have a tendency to pick the wrong guys. What should you look for with this new one and what should […]
Stop Family Bullying Over a Favorite Child
Monday, December 28th, 2009The holidays may be over for a while but family harassment, bullying and abuse because of a favorite child still needs to be stopped. Typical situations are where the parents:
Praise, defend and give the best presents or position in the Will to their favorite child.
Put down the rest of the children or designate one as […]