Consulting
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Wednesday, November 16th, 2011Overt bullies easily get our attention. And we know exactly what we’re up against when they attack. Stealth bullies, who stab you in the back in public with a friendly smile and a laugh designed to disguise their attack as a joke, are much tougher to deal with. In fact, it took a lot of [...]
“Nice Girls” Can’t Stop Bullies
Sunday, November 13th, 2011Almost every one of the women who’ve interviewed me on radio or TV admitted that they were raised to be “nice girls.” Their mothers had taught them that the most important value was to be nice, polite and sweet at all times. They should ignore or rise above bullies; feel sorry for how empty and [...]
Micromanagers just don’t know when to let up
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011Harry defended himself by saying that he was following rules he’d heard in training: to increase teamwork, bring people together often; review production in your group often so you can keep people on track; give immediate feedback in public so everyone can learn from one person’s mistakes. But Harry is a micromanager. Instead of making [...]
What to do if you’re stuck with bully for boss
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011What do you do if you end up with the boss from hell? Someone like Char – critical and nasty to everyone, an equal opportunity bully. She shot down whoever got in her sights. But she never went after people face-to-face. So, no one had the opportunity to question her or to present their side [...]
Stop Bullies: Make Some People Uncomfortable, Upset, Angry
Sunday, October 30th, 2011Many children are raised with a set of rules such as: “Don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Don’t hurt people’s feelings. Don’t upset anyone. Don’t be disagreeable. Don’t argue. Be polite. Be nice. Follow the Golden Rule. Make everyone like you.” But those are not effective rules for adults in the real-world. Of course, we know why [...]
Micromanagement is a Double-Edged Sword
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011We all know micromanagers whose control makes staff feel like their productivity, creativity and desire for responsibility is being strangled. But the other way micromanaging kills is when a competent manager is suffocated by too many employees who do need micromanaging to be productive. And then there are the sneaky slackers and covert bullies. The [...]
To Confront Toxic Parents or Not?
Sunday, October 23rd, 2011Should we confront our toxic parents or not? Well, it all depends on us, them and the situation? But here are some guidelines we can use to decide what we want to do. And what’s the “right time, place and way?”
Change a Culture of Entitlement in the Workplace
Wednesday, October 19th, 2011How’s this for a challenging assignment: You’re the new manager of a 14-person team that’s been together four years. During your first two days with the team, nine people come to you one-to-one and complain vehemently about two team members, Laura and Frances. They’re angry: Laura and Frances come in late, leave early, ignore assignments [...]
Stop Bullies Who Scold, Chastise
Sunday, October 16th, 2011Most people think that if they made a mistake, broke the rules, weren’t good at something or did something wrong they deserve what they get. So they accept being scolded, chastised and browbeaten. This attitude is so common that we have many words and expressions for these put-downs and abuse. For example, admonished, assailed, assaulted, [...]
Stop Workplace Bullies who Beat you up with the Rules
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011We all recognize bullies who yell, hit and make nasty remarks. But how do you stop bullies who use the letter of the rules to gain power by browbeating co-workers and getting them in trouble? For example, in the last two years, Jane had lodged written complaints about numerous employees who’d broken rules. The result: [...]
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