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Members of Whiners’ Club definitely bad for business
By Ben | January 11, 2012
With one exception, workplace cliques are bad for business. If you allow them to operate behind the scenes, they’ll destroy morale, teamwork and productivity. Yet, as the economy continues in a recession, people’s fear and stress will lead them to band together to find comfort and scapegoats.
We usually recognize cliques that use bullying tactics to preserve their turf and to get ahead. Let’s focus on one particular type of clique that will become more prevalent and more destructive as the recession deepens – the Whiners’ Club.
To read the rest of this article from the Portland Business Journal, see:
Members of Whiners’ Club definitely bad for business
http://www.bizjournals.com/portland/stories/2009/04/13/story9.html
Members of the Whiners’ Club, whether they’re managers or staff, waste time and spread a cloud of negativity and apathy throughout the office. They’re toxic. They complain about everything: the global economy; the country’s education, health care, bureaucracy and legal systems; the company’s leadership and management; their immediate bosses and coworkers; increased workloads imposed because coworkers were laid off; the insecurity of their jobs and retirement funds. You’ll never satisfy them.
The accuracy of the whiners’ observations isn’t the issue. The issue is their attitude towards what they think are facts. These people are professional victims. They’ve decided that since the world is so rotten and the future appears so bleak, they’ll stop trying to succeed. Instead, they give themselves permission to wallow in victimhood. They use their negativity to bully and abuse other staff, to sabotage meetings and to control the workplace.
Does that sound like teenagers who feel entitled to be taken care of?
Often, the strong and clear voice of an outside consultant and coach can empower managers and also make changes compelling. You’ll probably need to train conflict-avoidant managers how to evaluate and remove members of the Whiners’ Club. Once you remove a few of the most negative people, most of the rest can be rehabilitated with the right approaches.
Learn what you can do to eliminate the high cost of whiner’s low attitudes.
All tactics are situational. Expert coaching and consulting can help you create and implement a plan that fits you and your organization.
Topics: Coaching, Consulting, Eliminate Low Attitudes CD, Hostile Workplace, Stop Bullies Book | 4 Comments »
January 28th, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Ben
I am being cautious about my identity in this blog in case it is seen by professional colleagues. I don’t know if the problem I came across today constitutes bullying or not exactly.
I am in the process of setting up a business. It is slow going because I am learnign about marketing & how to do my books for taxes on a course & I am also on a course preparing to take my registration exams (architecture – a Masters degree). I have been approached to do some relatively low value work but snce I have been in & out of work in the recession for 3 years – anything seems a good thing right now.
So – on the basis that past experience showed I might pull in some larger building design projects I approached an ex-colleague (shall call him H) to see if he might be interested to start up a practice with me or to collaborate as necessary.
He spent the entire day either complaining about mutual ex-colleagues or forcing me to look at his cv & portfolio. i already knew he is a good designer, technically extremely competent & that he has worked for a few top-rate practices in our area. When I tried to show him (via the internet) work by my contemporaries which is similar to mine 9since I had not thought to bring my portfolio) & to discuss the kind of projects I would ultimately aim to design & build he seemed to lose interest & to get irritated.
I left feeling exhausted (& although I agreed about one mutual colleague who really is a bully I was actually quite angry that he had under-mined several others – in a way I could not quite comprehend as justified). I was concerned that he would gossip about me & be negative about me. he had told me my graphics skills were out of date & i could not compete with others of my rank who had just finished their post-grad’ – I felt angry & worn-out by the time I left – that I had wasted my day.
It wasn’t all negative – we like the same designs & have worked well together in the past. But this is a huge move for me & my under-lying feeling was that he was trying to find out who i had recently applied to work for (which of course if I land a job would mean he igh compete with me for the work).
I tried to tell myself not to be over-sensitive. but I havn’t shaken off the feeling that I was being scorned by this man since I left him 5 hours ago.
What do you think of this sort of behaviour? I must say I was hoping for a pro-active attitude towards getting stuck in to looking for business clients & projects & certainly did not find it. He could be a useful sub-contractor but is very expensive & compalined that wages have gone down so far he thinks he is so under-valued by larger companies as a sub-contractor that he does not want to work at all right now – preferring unemployment benefit.
He also accused me of coming from a rich family & haiving thier support to manage during the recession. For me – there is no family support.
I don’t feel good about this all day meeting & wish I had gone home earlier. My son thinks H is like the bitchy boys at his school – under-mining everyone else & unable to work in a team. I came away thinking H was incredibly arrogant (after listening to ‘why didn’t I get a first the tutors were wrong’ & in answer to my question ‘how do you see things for you moving forward H?’ He said’I will get a very good job in London & start my own practice in due course – obviously’). He then said – ‘make sure you keep in touch & let me know how everything is going’ as I left.
I just could not get out of there fast enough.
January 30th, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Hi Anna,
Sometimes, a label like “bully” or “nasty bit of work” helps us get the strength and determination to fight or leave or do what we need to do.
Often, it’s simpler and more effective to ask, “Do I like what happened? Do I want a repeat of that? What shall I do about it – what tactics?”
In this case, your gut is giving you one answer clearly and your head (your “Monkey Mind”) is trying to talk you out of what you know about him. It’s looking for outside standards – are you “too sensitive” or “do you come from a too-rich family”? Blah, blah blah.
What does your gut tell you?
You don’t have to fight him because it may not be worth your while. You can simply never contact him again. Politely disengage, despite your sense of need since you don’t have work. Do you really want to ever subcontract to him? And if he contacts you, have a cue card ready to help say “no” in a polite way.
In America, we have a bumper sticker, “Just say no!”
Since all situations are different, to go beyond that, you can get the strength, courage, determination and skill you need from phone or Skype coaching. Please, find someone locally or call me at 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543) or email me to schedule.
Best wishes,
Ben
January 31st, 2012 at 9:59 am
Hi Ben
I see your view – with some modifications.
H emailed me the following day to apologise for being less than positive & was conciliatory.
However, I remain cautious.
The discussion i needed to have with him was because I am setting up my own architectural practice & I was suggesting to him (since he has valuable skills) that he could either collaborate, come into the business as a director or work for me as a sub-contractor.
The practical problems being that he seemed to have little business sense & no motivation to look for clients & that I cannot afford him as a sub-contractor (& nor can anyone else at the moment as he wouldn’t lower his rates).
Collaboration (two companies effectively working together – employing just ourselves as consultants) seems the only that it might work.
Then of course there is the other issue – that he has been unprofessional in his comments about other members of the profession – & that is a real concern as one can’t help wondering if he could do the same to me & my company or that he might put off others who could come & work with me as I build my company.
So all in all – although his skills are fantastic – I feel he would not be a management asset to my company. As a technical designer & graphic artist he would be great as long as he keeps his negative opinions about others to himself & did not upset me or staff (if I were to employ other people in the future). he is also quite domineering – & that is a concern too.
In the past I have only worked as an employee – albeit at times in reasonably senior positions. Thus I just had to put up with whoever I had to work with – usually that was fine – athough there were exceptions. Running a business – well I have to learn to be discerning – to put the right people into the right roles & also to manage those people well so that my team can be effective.
As you rightly say – total avoidance could be the answer. Otherwise – given no other technical support – maybe a temporary sub-contract for him could be an option. This is a common position taken by employers in my industry when clients pay badly or when they are unsure about a potential staff member.
There was a firm I worked for a few years ago – in which the directors were appalling to me about my family background – & definately I would not work for them again – despite the fact there is no employment for me at present.
Hope I am getting there in maturing in the right direction!
February 5th, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Hi Anna,
What jumps out at me is:
• “Then of course there is the other issue – that he has been unprofessional in his comments about other members of the profession – & that is a real concern as one can’t help wondering if he could do the same to me & my company or that he might put off others who could come & work with me as I build my company.”
• “He is also quite domineering – & that is a concern too.”
Look somewhere else. Unless you’re totally starving and desperate, this sounds to me like a car wreck, waiting to happen.
Best wishes,
Ben