Archive for October, 2011
Stop Bullies: Make Some People Uncomfortable, Upset, Angry
Sunday, October 30th, 2011Many children are raised with a set of rules such as: “Don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Don’t hurt people’s feelings. Don’t upset anyone. Don’t be disagreeable. Don’t argue. Be polite. Be nice. Follow the Golden Rule. Make everyone like you.” But those are not effective rules for adults in the real-world. Of course, we know why [...]
Micromanagement is a Double-Edged Sword
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011We all know micromanagers whose control makes staff feel like their productivity, creativity and desire for responsibility is being strangled. But the other way micromanaging kills is when a competent manager is suffocated by too many employees who do need micromanaging to be productive. And then there are the sneaky slackers and covert bullies. The [...]
To Confront Toxic Parents or Not?
Sunday, October 23rd, 2011Should we confront our toxic parents or not? Well, it all depends on us, them and the situation? But here are some guidelines we can use to decide what we want to do. And what’s the “right time, place and way?”
Change a Culture of Entitlement in the Workplace
Wednesday, October 19th, 2011How’s this for a challenging assignment: You’re the new manager of a 14-person team that’s been together four years. During your first two days with the team, nine people come to you one-to-one and complain vehemently about two team members, Laura and Frances. They’re angry: Laura and Frances come in late, leave early, ignore assignments [...]
Stop Bullies Who Scold, Chastise
Sunday, October 16th, 2011Most people think that if they made a mistake, broke the rules, weren’t good at something or did something wrong they deserve what they get. So they accept being scolded, chastised and browbeaten. This attitude is so common that we have many words and expressions for these put-downs and abuse. For example, admonished, assailed, assaulted, [...]
Stop Workplace Bullies who Beat you up with the Rules
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011We all recognize bullies who yell, hit and make nasty remarks. But how do you stop bullies who use the letter of the rules to gain power by browbeating co-workers and getting them in trouble? For example, in the last two years, Jane had lodged written complaints about numerous employees who’d broken rules. The result: [...]
Vote Selfish, Narcissistic, Insensitive People off Your Isle of Song
Sunday, October 9th, 2011Sometimes things are very clear and straightforward even though carrying them out may be difficult. But that’s a lot better than not being clear. Rabindranath Tagore, Nobel Prize winning poet, said, “Create an isle of song in a sea of shouts.” This vision provides clarity about the direction we want our lives – situation after [...]
Stop Employees who Bully Workplace over ‘Morale’ Claims
Wednesday, October 5th, 2011Who’s responsible for an employee’s morale? Many people think it’s the manager’s responsibility. But I say it depends. For example, before Sarah became manager of her new team, she’d been warned that the group had longstanding problems with low productivity and morale. Sarah rapidly discovered the warnings were accurate. Her staff spent too much time [...]
Stop Bullying, Abuse: Say, “That’s Enough!”
Sunday, October 2nd, 2011We’ve talked about the first two important steps to stop bullying, abusive spouses: The first step toward freedom is to use experts’ checklists to recognize and label our spouses’ behavior as “bullying” and our demanding, controlling, narcissistic, abusive spouses as “bullies,” in order to generate our own power. We may use that power to re-enter [...]