Archive for February, 2011
Stop Bullies: Ignore Their Excuses, Justifications
Monday, February 28th, 2011Jane’s sister, Betty, seemed to have been born with a vicious tongue. She attacked everyone relentlessly. Holidays with the extended family were a misery for Jane and her family. Nobody, not even their mother, stopped Betty. Everyone was afraid to complain directly to Betty. If they did, Betty would turn on them even more spitefully [...]
Stop Bullies: Forgiveness Won’t Work
Monday, February 21st, 2011My personal and professional experience is that forgiveness doesn’t stop real-world bullies. Most people think forgiveness consists of two things: Some surge of feelings that makes us more kindly disposed toward a person who has injured us, whether intentionally or not. Words in dictionaries include: A thawing or understanding, caring, sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, pardoning, [...]
Stop Bullies: Unconditional Love Won’t Work
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011I learned by personal and professional experience that unconditional love doesn’t stop real-world bullies. But others learned the same lesson over 2,500 years ago. Of course, we all have those bad days when everything seems to go wrong and we’re so grumpy that we take it out on the dog or anyone we meet. But [...]
Stop Bullies: Start Here
Thursday, February 10th, 2011You may be the target of a bully, but you don’t have to be a victim. Bullies can go after you in many ways; physically harming you or threatening to hurt you; inflicting emotional pain through harassment, relentless criticism, taunting, put-downs, cutting out, manipulation, controlling, back-stabbing, spreading rumors, telling secrets, embarrassing you or generally mean [...]
Stop Bullies: Dump the Jerk Day
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011Today is officially, “Dump the Jerk Day.” Seriously. Clear out the debris and deadwood. Make space for someone who treats you good so you can have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Worse than being alone is feeling alone when someone else is taking up all the space and breathing all the air. Then you’re not only [...]
Bullying Spouses won’t be Convinced to Change
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011You can’t convince bullying spouses to change; you’ll never prove that you’re right or should have what you need; you’ll never deserve the rewards they withhold from you. They’re not interested in the truth or in your reasons or your wonderful logic. They’re not interested in loving you the way you want to be loved. [...]
Are You Defeated by Defeat?
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011What do you do after you’ve been hit hard and knocked down by life? What do you do after your dreams have been shattered? What do you do after you’ve been rejected or lost everything? What do you do when you’ve been defeated? What do you do when you realize you chose an abusive bully [...]