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Facebook Cyber Bullying Lawsuit Versus New York Teenager
By Ben | March 10, 2009
As reported by Reid Epstein in Newsday, New York teenager, Denise Finkel has sued Facebook for $3 million because, she claims, it carried a fictitious Facebook chat group to bully, ostracize, ridicule, abuse and disgrace her. The lawsuit states that former high school classmates, Michael Dauber, Jeffrey Schwartz, Leah Herz, and Melinda Danowitz created the chat room in which they falsely claimed that she had “inappropriate conduct with animals,” and had AIDS, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases.
I want to focus on two related areas that I think are more important in the long run.
Of course there will be a lot of furor over whether any or all of the accused four did it and whether Facebook is liable for content that’s not obviously pornographic. Did Finkel complain to Facebook and did Facebook turn a deaf ear to Finkel’s complaints? And are the four people guilty as accused?
The first area that I think is more important in the long run is the ongoing effort to make new laws in response to new crimes, especially using new technology. The natural way that we make new laws begins when some people commit acts not specifically covered under the old laws that have terrible consequences. We respond by specifically labeling those new actions as crimes, and attach what we feel are appropriate criminal penalties. Then we see, by trial-and-error, where to draw better lines. The legal system is inevitably slow, inefficient and never perfect.
Given the increasing number of lives ruined by cyber bullying, emotional harassment and abuse, especially in schools, and the number of suicides stimulated by cyber bullying, I think that our society will make laws specifically stating that false and malicious statements and postings, in addition to pornography, are illegal. I don’t think we’ll hold carriers like Facebook, MySpace, etc. liable for their postings. But I think we’ll hold them liable for ignoring complaints about specific chat groups and postings that they continue to carry.
Many states and school districts, including Kansas, Oregon and California are considering such laws to protect children and teenagers from cyber bullying.
One stumbling block in making such laws is where to draw the lines and the hidden assumption that cyberbullying laws can and should be made “just right” for all situations – never too lax, never too harsh. But the letter of the laws can never cover all situations with “just right” justice. We always depend on human wisdom in the law’s application to specific situations. That’s just the way it is – for better or for worse.
And I think that in this area, safety should triumph over cyber freedom.
The second area that I think is more important in the long run is parenting for the specific situations involving our kids and teenagers. Our job is to monitor our children:
- Do they look like they’re having a hard time (maybe being attacked by cyberbullies)? How can we help them stop bullying on their own or do we need to intervene?
- Are they witnessing cyber bullying and are they struggling to know whether or how to intervene?
- Are they cyber bullies? How do we stop them and help them develop the character to make amends and do better next time?
- Should they even be on MySpace or Facebook or any social networking sites? What else would be a better use of their time and energy?
And of course there are no easy answers. No one is really dumb enough to think there are easy solutions.
There are no safe environments. Schools and the real world have never been safe. Schools and social networks are testing grounds for the real world. And the real world is not and should not be safe. Facing risks and danger helps us develop good sense, good character and the qualities necessary to survive. Imagine growing up on a farm, in a wilderness village or in the middle ages. Not safe. I grew up in New York City. Not safe. Millennia ago we had to learn what a saber-toothed tiger’s foot prints looked like and how long ago they were left. The world still requires survival skills, even if different ones.
Our job as parents is to teach our children the skills and grit to survive in whichever jungle or battleground they live, and to protect them when they’re over-matched.
For practical, real-world tactics designed to stop school bullies and bullying, please see “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,” and “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids.” Individualized coaching can design action plans to fit your specific situation. Also, the strong and clear voice of an outside speaker can empower principals, teachers and other students to stop bullying and abuse.
Topics: Bullies at School, Coaching, cyberbullying, parenting, Parenting Bully-Proof Kids Book, Public Speaking, Stop Bullies Book | 11 Comments »


March 12th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Excellent post and observation as always, Ben. I still don’t understand why Internet libel, slander and defamation are treated as just that… Can anyone answer me as to why this wouldn’t be valid?
If someone prints in the paper that you are an a-hole, or if someone stands on a street corner and starts telling folks you have a disease and that you like to touch little boys, you can sue them.
Why is this turning into a huge criminal matter? Why can’t we give power and enable the victims to take action and settle the matter?
I understand anonymity would be a monkey wrench, but most of the time, you can figure out who the bully is.
I don’t know man… but think all the squabbling and back-and-forth needs to stop and we need to get serious in a logical way.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Hi Ken,
Thanks for the comment.
I agree. We’d think that the libel, slander and defamation laws would be enough but they aren’t.
I think that new internet laws might be needed because they’d require the social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, and the ISPs to turn over names to investigating police. Also, to test the application of existing laws to cyber bullying might take a long time and a lot of money to go up through appeals courts. If specific federal laws were made, that might speed the process by which abusers could be brought to justice.
Are there lawyers who want to weigh in?
Best wishes,
Ben
April 10th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Facebook et al, should definately be held to account if they do not act upon complains about groups that children (some under 13 which is against FB terms and conditions)
Ok, Facebook probably gets millions of complaints a day and it’d be difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff. However a simple search of group titles for keywords would allow them to find groups like “[So and so] is a gay fag – he pisses me off” and close them down if it is obviously full of kids picking on one individual.
Yet Facebook appears to be complacent. My wife (a teacher of a distraught child being bullied in this way) has submitted many complaints, yet nothing has been done to take it down, nor has her school principal backed her up in taking disciplinary action against the children from that school who created and posted to that group.
The very fact that over 50 children from that school had signed up to that group, and about 15 had posted defamatory comments is reason enough to bring in new legislation, to at least force head teachers, parents and websites to act.
April 10th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Hi Dan,
I agree, but it will take lots of public pressure.
The law always lags way behind the abuse. At first, people see only the benefits of what’s new. Much later, we see the downsides and want to stop the abuses. The bullies hide behind legal ploys until very specific laws are made to stop their bullying.
Our society is wrestling with whether to hold the carrier, Facebook, responsible, or whether to only subject the individual users to stiff penalties for the content they put up, or both.
It’s always easier to go after the big corporation (Facebook). But the real solution is going after the individual kids and their responsible parents. Principals and police need clear and specific laws to protect them when they go after the perpetrators because the parents of those little terrorists will resist the principals and police.
At least, with Facebook, we know who the perpetrators are. MySpace is a different case because they’re based on fake identities.
I hope your wife, the bullied child and the parents hang in. Often publicity is the key to stopping the abuse, even if there’s no legal way to get redress. They probably need a good lawyer and also a good tactical coach to design specific plans for acting effectively.
Best wishes,
Ben
April 16th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Hey guys,
Interesting blog, however I myself am the victim of internet abuse. It has been going on for 2 months, and after 30 different complaints by 30 of my friends, it still hasn’t been taken down.
The group has targeted myself, my friends and even my family and nothing as of yet has been done. The group now has 270 members, and I dunno what to do.
The link is here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?sid=0091bbbf0f8593a58513e7fc49cf496c&gid=65677220465&ref=search
My e-mail address is extremedude_mhorn@hotmail.co.uk
April 16th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
I believe that both should have actions taken against them, both the individual/group & the corporation.
Of course that depends on whether or not the corporation responds to the group in the time limits that they state they will in their policies. If the corporation takes the group off right away, then just the individuals should have criminal actions brought against them, however, using Facebook as an example, and the story about Dan’s wife and the failure of action taken by Facebook, then Facebook should be held liable. It’s as simple as that really. They made their policies for a reason, and if they can’t keep their end of the bargain, they deserve to be held accountable, and have criminal actions taken against them.
It’s not always easier to go after the big guys though, as they are most likely going to win, because of the fact that they have lots of high paid lawyers, whereas most of us working class do not, and cannot afford it in some cases.
April 17th, 2009 at 2:34 am
last month march 6,2009 a bully who had been harassing my daughter from about 2 years ago, who writes for the school newspaper, printed in the school newspaper that my daughter was “weird” of all the students in the school. i tried to get answers from the principal, but no one can give me a clear answer.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Hi Matt,
Wow! You may have the dubious record for the most people going after you. Sorry, I can’t check out the site because I’m not on Facebook and don’t intend to be.
At this point, with the information you’ve shared, all I can think of is to keep pushing on their service providers and go for publicity. Look for one person to champion your case; one newspaper or TV station. Document all the information you can about each of the people going after you.
Be strong and resilient! Endure! This sounds like a test of who you are: Be an extremedude.
Best wishes,
Ben
April 17th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Hi Trish,
I agree. The only choice may be publicity. The more the merrier after Facebook and also the individuals involved; especially school principals and district administrators. School officials hate publicity – local and national!
Dan and Matt: see if you can get a news service interested or get it posted on a popular news blog.
Good luck and best wishes,
Ben
April 17th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Hi drg,
This is appalling. Another case of a principal not protecting a target of bullies.
Gather all your evidence and go one time with the principal to a district official. Record the conversation.
If they still won’t stop it, go for publicity. Get a good lawyer if you can. Make a case to embarrass the principal, the kid who writes in the school newspaper and his/her parents. Also, they’ve caused your daughter great pain. Wouldn’t they love to see and hear their names on TV, newswires, Letterman, Leno, etc. Connect the principal and the kid emotionally to the cases that are already in the public’s eye.
Be courageous and persevering. Scare the heck out of them. Too bad you’re not in Denver. I know a wonderful lawyer here.
Best wishes,
Ben
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:15 am
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