Archive for April, 2008

You can care too much about winning your parents’ approval

Monday, April 28th, 2008

My last post was about adults who carry to their graves the wounding and scars they got from their parents.  These adults never grow up mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  They never leave their parents’ mental and emotional homes, even if they leave physically.
While watching the John Adams mini-series, I saw a classic example.

Getting over parents who wound their children: the 2nd stage of growing up and leaving home

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Obviously there are great parents.  And there are children who repeatedly wound their parents.  But let’s focus on parents who repeatedly wounded their children … and still continue to bully and control them even after the children have become adults.
Whether that’s done consciously and intentionally, or the parents are righteous and oblivious to the effects […]

Dieting? Quitting smoking or stopping drinking? Whose advice should you trust?

Friday, April 18th, 2008

Are you dieting?  Have you noticed that everyone has advice about the best ways to stop?  The advice-givers also think they know best for people who are trying to quit smoking or stop drinking.
For example, Tammy is dieting again.  She’s tried losing weight before, even succeeded, but has always gained it back.  This time she’s […]

The 9 Circles of Trust

Monday, April 14th, 2008

Whether you’re thinking of personal relationships or the workplace or you’re teaching your children, how can you know who to trust?
Some people think that it’s morally and spiritually advanced to start by trusting everyone.  You’re somehow a bad person if you don’t trust people.  After all, you get what you put out.  Other people say […]

What can you do if the new bosses want to fire you?

Monday, April 7th, 2008

I received a number of confidential responses to my blog post on “Top ten ways to create a hostile workplace.”  One theme in many responses was about the question: “What should I do if leadership has changed and the new bosses want me gone so they can bring in their own people?”
That’s a situation I’ve […]

Managers who act like therapists victimize their whole team

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Good managers respond to their employees’ personal problems and the distractions of their major, joyous events, like weddings and births.  But what happens when a manager tries to be the therapist for a few underperforming and troubled employees, but fails to fix them?